My writing, and music focus, has been in the realm of the occult as of late. Inadvertant or coincidental, the two are aligning quite eerily, my mind feeding off both angles.This is good for my work but the lyrics and realm of the supernatural happenings is not an easy one to traverse, losing my way would be most unfortanate. So, I steel my resolve, keep things in perspective, don't allow myself to get carried away in that haunting world I chase, trying to pluck the malformed and unmentioned into existence, giving life or existence to the unkown and unformed.
My musical taste lately has fallen into mostly Black Metal, although Death Metal and many other genres still fall within the category I seek to explore. Behemoth, Abigail Williams, and Enslaved have enkindled the wanting flame within, providing me insight and knowledge unbeknownst to me. The main issue I have with is with myself. Reading these lyrics, researching the meanins, seeing the messages and words brought upon with atmospheric journeys, pounding drums, and wailing, guttural screams almost crushes me. This may be confusing so allow me to elaborate. I lightly call myself a writer, I don't want to seem arrogant or full of myself, but there is another struggle to my work. Each author has a style, uses specific words, a language of their own that helps define oneself. I use some odd words that most do not yet when I stumble on this content of malevolence and cosmic mysteries, I feel stupid. My eyes fall upon words that are unclear or foreign to me used in conjecture with structure and strength, I feel lost or overwhelmed. The creativity and intensity of established others causes me to feel amateur, a fool. Now, in some aspects, this is good for me, this pushes me to improve and understand, reteach myself again and again, question my own methods. I have so few (practically none) who read and critique my work, and what they say is true, "You are your own worst critic."
Regardless, I have been working on a new short story, one that is surprising me as I continue in its manifestation. It started off with a simple frame work, albeit and intense beginning, but now it is revealing itself to me. The occult aspects of my outer life heavily influencing this creation. I fear it may push the boundaries of the series so I must remind myself that I have read and seen other things quite heinous or sinister before and not to let that deter me. Soon, the DC Universe will have a new, darker tale, one floundering in despair and drowning in blood.
THE MAD BARRON
Beware, for a journey of self improvement is also one made with great sacrifice.
The Source Of The Metal